I was so much older then, I’m younger than that now.
Bob Dylan, My Back Pages
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of knowledge;
Fools despise wisdom and discipline.
Proverbs 1:8
Though he lived in the 18th century, William Blake is a poet for our time. I am meditating on The Proverbs of Hell, from his illuminated work The Marriage of Heaven and Hell, to explore the relationship of poetry to prayer and prophecy.
One day, some years ago, I stumbled on a line of poetry: “When you find Hell, circle deep: Heaven’s in sight there.” I possibly equated it to Dante’s journey; he had to go through Hell (then Purgatory) to enter Heaven. It might have been a way for the poet to say, as is popular these days, the only way out is through. In other words, one must travel through the valley in order to find the rise which leads the way out.
Life feels challenging, at the moment. I feel keenly aware of my follies: poor budgeting skills, poor planning, poor regulation of emotional responses. Some of this comes from “comparing my inside to others’ outsides,” as they say in 12 Step programs. Some of this comes with being very conscious of how much room for growth still exists, even at the age of 68.
I’m all exposed wires and jangling nerves. I’m the one crushed by the noise of the crowd. I’m the one who speaks the thoughts best hidden. I’m quarter moon haunts and morning drifts. I’m an old fool, dancing upon the precipice of my nightmares.
I seem to be experiencing turbulence, but it’s a temporary phenomenon.
At my age, I’m closer to the grave than I am the forceps (to paraphrase Joni Mitchell). I’m all exposed wires and jangling nerves. I’m the one crushed by the noise of the crowd. I’m the one who speaks the thoughts best hidden. I’m quarter moon haunts and morning drifts. I’m an old fool, dancing upon the precipice of my nightmares.
I reflect on that last paragraph, and my authorial voice seems so self-involved and pathetic. So melodramatic. I want to relegate my ego to a closet, and banish the letter “I’.
In the Tarot, the fool represents both naïveté and new beginnings. He — the character is typically represented as a male figure — is pictured as balancing at the edge of a cliff. There is an element of innocence, fearlessness, and daring. A new beginning, after all, requires boldness; one must overcome fear to start on a new path.
The fear, of course, is that I will repeat old mistakes — or make even more devastating new ones. My initial interpretation of this 18th proverb is that a fool would eventually learn from his mistakes. And one can learn from past mistakes. Furthermore, a wise person will observe, and learn, from others’ mistakes as well.A wise person might strive to emulate the strategies others have used to overcome challenges. A wise person would lean into those winning tactics, while avoiding the mistakes.
But, there are always the “unknowns.” There are always unpredictable unintended consequences.
My journey as a fool could be an object lesson. I have the opportunity to examine foolish financial choices, and to make new ones. I can, and have, asked the advice of a financial planner. I can examine the times I’ve recently expressed emotion in inappropriate ways, or in inappropriate contexts, and learn techniques to moderate those responses.
In the first letter to the church at Corinth, Paul writes: “… God’s foolishness is wiser than human wisdom, and God’s weakness is stronger than human strength.” Paul is thinking of the Greek philosophical concept of wisdom, which had already had an influence on Jewish thinking, but also the values of the Roman Empire. Much like today, power and wealth reflect the favor of the gods.
As we’ve seen, Blake was perceived as foolish by his contemporaries: his graphic art was in an out-dated classical style; he could not produce commissions to the satisfaction of his benefactors; his poetry was archaic. His prophetic works were so personal as to be impenetrably opaque. He was not successful, by the measure of his time.
He was a man both behind his time, and ahead of it. One aspect of his folly, in the context of the eighteenth century, was believing there was more to the world than what could be perceived by the five senses. Those five senses remain the limit of common knowledge today, though those senses have been magnified and radically enhanced.
There are those who would measure imagination as a series of chemical reactions, or electrical impulses, in the brain. They might maintain that humans created G*d in their imagination, but they would discount the possibility that humans participate in an ineffably numinous imagination.
To believe such things is deemed foolishness. But that is an element of my foolishness. And it is a foolishness Blake shared.
He was once considered foolish, but is now counted as a prophetic visionary. His work can take us beyond our mechanically enhanced senses to the imaginative universes we are yet to discern.
As I’ve said above, life has become overwhelming and stressful lately. I recognize that producing an essay a week has become unrealistic. My current goal is every other week. I pray your indulgence.